Cosmic Consciousness

    Today was a typically boring day, didn't do much.  A long time friend came over, so it was a pleasure to have someones company.  We were talking about going to Florida, well she wants to move over there.  I myself was thinking of going for a couple of days to try and relax at my grandmothers place.  I should go and come back with a banging tan, hehe.  Anyway my friend is pregnant, I told her it would be good to raise the child over there, a better environment  for the child.  I lived in Florida for a couple of years, when I was younger, I loved it. Maybe if I never came back to New York, my life could of turned out differently. Maybe I wouldn't have all these problems or maybe it could of been worse if I stayed.  Who knows?  There's to much violence in the streets where we live, I know it would be better for her baby.  And now that I mentioned of taking a little vacation, guess what? My mother wants to go as well.  Like it  always is, making my life complicated.  It doesn't matter I'll block her out like I always do.  Perhaps I can make her stay there with her mother when I come back, that would be very good for my father and I, we would be stress-free for a while.  Not that long because her mother would drive her crazy, then her ass would be on a plane coming back to torture us. I need to come up with a plan to make her stay in Florida longer.  But what kind of plan?  I have some thinking to do, to come up with the perfect plan..hehe..(i'm so evil, trying to get rid of my Oka-san-(mother in Japanese) . 

    What it is that I need, is to depart from everyone, my mind, body, and soul needs to escape from it all. If I don't accomplish this I will erupt, and trust me this will not be a pleasant sight.  I need to breath again, clear my head out.  REBOOT, this what we all need. I'm not sure if this is only me, but I feel as if NYC drains all the energy out of me, on top of having a lot of complications in my family. *sigh* How would it feel to go somewhere knew, foreign; where no one knows you, and you could just start over, forget about everything..aahh..if only it were that simple, it'd be lovely. 
When ever I see someone somewhere that says they want to come to New York, all I could think of is "For what?" It's so hard and stressful here, but I remember they want to see the sights and all the tourist things. But man to live here, I wouldn't recommend it, it's probably just me cause I've been through so much here I think they'll go through the same things.  Most likely not. Look at me, blaming all my problems on new york, hehe, I'm horrible.  Nah, it's great here, but after a while you get sick of it, that without a doubt is the case everywhere, maybe.   Anyone want to switch life's with me?  haha That'd be cool.

 

"Don't want to waste your time or take what isn't mine, don't fix me cause I'm broken, I was that way from the start"-Rocco Deluca & the Burden